Simon Henry

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Simon Henry (real name Krupin Ilarion Svyatoslavovich) is a classically trained pianist from Vladivostok. He is a multi-instrumentalist, speaks 36 languages and can kill a man with his eyebrows. He claims not to be a spy.

Johnny Butler

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Having endured a life of depravity, debauchery and other things beginning with D, Johnny now lives quietly in the countryside with only his deranged aunt, Magdalena, as company. He spends his days in darkened rooms nursing his grievances, biding his time, making his plans.
Who knows what foul secrets he keeps locked away in his black heart?
All we do know is that once a year he emerges, like some ghastly apparition, to co-write and perform with The Land Of Nod before, once again, slipping away into the Stygian gloom from whence he came.
Silly arse.

Simon Lacy

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A former trialist for York City FC, Simon Lacy is now the CEO of his own insect repellent company in Shropshire. However, he still likes to act in his free time and has featured in numerous TV programmes, most notably Crimewatch, Britain’s Most Wanted and Caught On Camera. One day he would like to create his own brand of edible swimwear.